urinatings:

*precisely determines where i should take the next bite of my sandwich*

(Source: 750c, via relahvant)

howunpleasant:

friday at school i heard some girl in the hall way scream “FOR THE LAST TIME BITCH IM LESBIAN IM NOT TRYING TO STEAL YOUR BOYFRIEND HE SMELLS LIKE KETCHUP ANYWAYS”

(Source: grossmidousuji, via fake-mermaid)

meurve:

I can physically feel my body shutting down and dying slowly